Rest in Peace, Cowl

 There are connections you make in life you do not know will change you. That is how I describe the impact made by a tiny white mouse we named Cowl. One of my sisters brought him home with a second male mouse we named Topper because they did not have anywhere to go. The mice were bought as specimen for a class activity, but the buyer (or perhaps the seller) have mistaken them for female mice. They were supposed to get females, not males; and because there was no use for two male mice, my sister who is a university instructor, brought them home.

My mother is scared of rodents, so we did not know about her decision until she came home and called me to see what she brought. I thought it was funny but I was also scared for the mice because I knew my mother would object. Plus we were already raising two dogs so it might not be a good idea to house mice that they would usually hunt (my dogs have killed mice and rats before). They already had their own tiny cage and names. We decided to place them outside with the other dog, Chichi. We thought they would be safe because the front area is roofed and clean. It has tables and chairs for a sit-out.

Topper did not even last for days with us as one morning, Chichi somehow opened the cage and killed one of the mice. When my other sister noticed, Cowl was already at Chichi’s feet, held down by the tail. Cowl was able to get away when we interfered but he almost ran to the road outside and could have been lost forever. Luckily, my sister, the one who brought the mice, caught him.

It was not the only time Cowl was saved from certain death as one evening when we placed the cage outside, thinking it would be safely guarded by the dog (by this time they have accepted him as pet), a cat got to the cage somehow. Cowl was safe and the cage was unopened. But I heard a commotion and when I looked, a cat was perched on top of the cage. It was then that we decided Cowl should never be taken outside completely. My mother has accepted the mouse by then and was also terrified by the incident.

Now, anyone reading this might think we are cruel for placing the mouse’s enclosure outside, but we have a difficult circumstance with the situation between our two dogs. But the area in front of the house is like the extension of the living room complete with furniture. Only the front and right sides are open, but the mouse is safe from the elements. As for the dogs, we had to separate them completely because they will fight to the death. There have been a few encounters where blood was drawn, and so to save them from each other, they have designated areas at home and they must never see each other. But that is a subject for another article.

Cowl is safer inside as the other dog, Tonton, is more accepting. She does not even try to get close to the mouse once we have introduced him properly. It was then that Cowl grew closer to the family members. At first, we were hesitant because it is the first time we took in a mouse. Previously, we had mostly dogs and one hen growing up. Everything about the mouse was new to us. Sometimes we would sit and observe Cowl nesting, mesmerized and relaxed. He looked so fragile and small as if he would break if we tried picking him up.

Cowl was also scared of us at first. Probably from the trauma of the previous experiences with the dog and the cat. Only my sister, the biologist, tried picking him up to clean the tiny cage. We had to learn a lot of things for raising a mouse to give it the best life possible. It was also when we learned they had short lives. But we did not think of that. We just wanted Cowl to be healthy and happy even if he does not have a companion anymore. We contemplated getting another mouse but as Cowl was male, we did not want to take chances. 

Surprisingly, Cowl adjusted well and was able to cope even if he was the only pet mouse. At first he would not socialize, but he got used to eating from our hands when we give him food. I was delighted the first time Cowl took a small piece from my finger and when his toes touched my skin. Because everything was new and exciting, someone was always watching the mouse.

As everyone grew accustomed to his presence, we would sometimes move him to the center table in the living room where he can roam freely. He did not try to jump off or escape so instead of being confined to a small cage, he had plenty of area to explore on the table. We provided toys, learned the best way to feed and find food he likes, and adjusted to his unique personality.

Cowl was affectionate. He would come over and sniff if you called to him or got close to him. He also liked being petted and would tilt his head sideways so you can scratch under the side of his head. He would even come near your hands if you just put it on the table to sniff, nibble, and snuggle.

The guides say mice are not high-maintenance pets. While that is true, Cowl had a personality and lots of preferences. We found out he did not like the muesli we bought him. The second time, he did not like the brand. He would also only pick the seeds and he would rather eat food freshly served from the hands of humans. As for his bedding, we tried different options but mostly, we would try to leave a clean space in his enclosure and sleep away from the bedding. He was okay with shredded paper and tissue sometimes, but he would mostly use the tissue to wipe his urine. Yup, a mouse wiping off his urine. We caught him doing that a few times. He also does not like the wheel attached to his cage. He used it mostly to watch himself pee. He would get on it, look down, then pee. Afterwards, he goes down, gathers tissue, and then wipe the pee. The soiled tissue he would dispose by placing it on one of his food bowls or stick it to the walls of his cage. Every time I cleaned, I would see a pile of soaked tissue stuck to the walls or in the bowls.

When Cowl was younger, he spent a lot of time nesting. He would collect everything that was put on the table, that was why we learned not to leave anything that might be harmful. He even tried to carry a five peso coin to his cage. As he got older, his preferences changed. When the cage is soiled, he would not sleep inside anymore (we leave the cage open so he can roam on the table). After we clean the cage, that is the only time he would sleep in it. We also did not bother adding bedding except for some shredded paper and tissue because he likes a floor clean from any of it. 

Cowl also liked climbing up to the top of his cage and watch us. On the table, he would sit near the edges and observe. If someone came over, he would tilt his head and come close to the hand you offer so you can pet him.

He will also make sounds if you give him his favorite treats. It was so funny the first time. He also had favorite places to hang out on, like the slide in his cage or the hole leading to it. When he wants to chill, he climbs up to the roof of the cage. His most favorite, however, is the figurine of an angel on a rocking chair. We put it on the table because he did not accept all the other wooden toys we gave him for chewing on. He did chew the legs a bit but he would sit under it and sleep instead. My mother laughed when she saw it; my mother who is scared of rodents. Since then, he would claim and sleep on the items anyone places on the table.

It took him a while to start eating the muesli we brought him. In fact, it was only during the last several weeks of his life that he took a liking to sunflower seeds in the mix. He would dig it up then scatter the rest he did not like on the floor of his cage.

2019 for us was both challenging but also full of blessings. Tonton had her major surgery for pyometra that year, and Chichi was confined to the hospital before New Year’s. When there was a commotion, Cowl would come out of his nest and observe. There were also some personal milestones and achievements. There were even incidents where black mice entered the house and attacked Cowl. One morning my sister found blood on his body, but the injury was minor because some of the blood was probably from the attacker. There was also an incident where I saw the attacker enter the cage. Cowl made the loudest noise I heard from him. We got rid of the mice (even if we were sorry) for his safety.

2020 of course was a difficult year. Like I mentioned, we started the New Year with a sick pet. Chichi recovered, thankfully. But then there was COVID-19. Throughout the six months we were stuck at home, we grew closer with Cowl. Now that my sisters spend more time at home, our affection and closeness for the tiny member of the family grew. However, Cowl was getting old and we noticed some health problems. The first was the itchiness, then he gained weight. Sometime in April we noticed a growth on his rear and my sister said it was most likely a rectal prolapse. We tried looking for a solution but since most veterinarians were not available during the lockdown, we did not have a lot of options. My sister is also familiar with the condition and she said it might need surgery. We changed Cowl’s diet to control his weight and to manage the prolapse.

By this time, I think we have fully bonded with Cowl. He does not like being put in a dark corner to sleep because he wants to see humans. He would gnaw on his cage, make sounds until someone noticed. We had a corner for Cowl in the mornings to sleep in. It was okay with him when he was a bit younger but he preferred to be on the table at all times. So we had to adjust the setup to protect him from noise and light. He liked being around us. You could tell because he would just wait and stare if you place him in an area where he cannot see humans, even during times when he is supposed to sleep.

Maybe he did like us, but my sister and I think he was lonely too because there are no other mice (except for the invaders who attacked him). If someone was near the table, expect Cowl to come over, sniff, and ask for a petting. He was more affectionate than Tonton even. Whenever I worked on my laptop, I sometimes used his table. He would come over, sit on the laptop keyboard, and then try to get under my palms. Yes, he wanted to be petted and cuddled. That was so cute. We did not expect it would be possible with a mouse. I am happy Cowl came to our life to make everything magical. Cowl was there whenever I played video games, typed my articles for work, made art, or whenever we watched movies and TV.

There are so many things I would like to remember and share about him. I do not want to remember how he got sick the night of August 20, 2020 and his health deteriorated until he passed away the night of August 25. We brought Cowl to three different veterinarians in the city, but all of them confessed they do not have the equipment or expertise to deal with an “exotic” pet. It was heartbreaking to hear that pets that are neither dogs nor cats will have little chance to survive conditions that need medical attention. I think they also phrased their words in a way to tell us that since mice have short lives, it was not worth getting medical services.

Cowl died laying on my sister’s hand. We were trying to comfort him. I will never forget that image in my mind. I wish I could take the pain away. Sure, he did not suffer long, but I cannot help but think there must be something we could have done. We felt helpless because there was no help. We did our best for the next five days, researching, trying methods to ease the pain or maybe finally treat him. The second vet we visited managed ease some of Cowl’s symptoms. She suspected it was megacolon but was hoping it was only the result of overeating and constipation. The next day, we went for another checkup and Cowl got better he was able to poop. More research indicate that it was megacolon. His constipation was followed by diarrhea. The deterioration was fast even if we were always around to comfort him. We tried the tummy massage they instructed and then the stimulation to the rear to help him poop. We also cut down on some food and concentrated on giving him fresh veggies. It did work but on his last day, he was bloated again and weak. We tried again that night, but I think Cowl gave up.

Maybe we could have done better. Maybe the illness was already a part of his line. We do not know. His time with us was so short, even if we knew most mice would not live past three years. One year and five months (not counting the one or two months since his birth) seemed like a long time because of the memories. But it was still short especially after we got extremely close with Cowl during the lockdown. It all felt so sudden as if the universe took him from us out of spite. That same week, he learned a new trick. We would offer our palms up so he could climb on them and sort of cuddle with out hands. Sadly, we will never experience that again. The suddenness of it was devastating. And his manner of death was like a punishment for such a gentle creature. I hate megacolon, the disease that took away our little friend. 

I hope one day I will be strong enough to remember Cowl without crying. I do not want to work yet near the table where he lives. Maybe one day the memories will bring smiles only, not smiles and tears. I miss him terribly because he was part of my daily routine. Then he was wrenched away so suddenly. But I am thinking of one day adopting another mouse, not to replace Cowl but to honor his memory. Maybe by bringing attention to mice to my friends on social media, more people will also adopt them and give them loving homes.

There is a mouse-sized hole in my heart but I would not exchange anything for the good memories and the lessons left by my friend Cowl. Rest in peace and thank you, dear Cowl.